5 Million

It's been awhile but it's time to check in with my adoring crowd of.... 7? This post is about one thing, motorcycles. 5 Million of them.

I'm back in the bush after a week off and a short trip to Saigon/Ho Chi Minh City/South Vietnam. You know that old Sesame Street song, "One of these things is not like the other"? That was me. I was not like the others. Not even close to about 6 million others. I've never felt more like I was in a foreign country than when I was in Vietnam. The beautiful part of it was that english is a bit of a second language in Vietnam. The US dollar is a recognized currency there but the Dong rules across most of the country. How they've gotten away with having a currency called Dong for this long is one of life's greatest mysteries. The money might have an original name, but it sure doesn't have an original look. It's the same dude on every bill. What's that? You have a 2000 Dong bill? BAM! It's got Ho Chi Minh's face on it. Oh you've found a 500000 Dong bill? Yep, that's Ho Chi Minh on there too. Ah well, maybe next time fellas.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, we were just about to start in on the motorbikes right? Well, that's where we're going anyway. It's estimated that Ho Chi Minh City is home to over 5 million motorcycles/scooters. Try to process that information. Try to imagine the sheer mass of motorbikes residing in one city. According to one tour guide the logic of so many is as follows, "If you have no bike, no girlfriend. If you have bike, you have girlfriend. If girl have bike but you no bike, you no have girlfriend. If you have car, you have 4 girlfriends." A resulting lifestyle factor of the huge amount of motorbikes is freestyle and free moving traffic. The rules of the road are that if you have a motorbike or scooter you can pretty much go wherever you want. With the flow? Done. Against the flow? Done. Across the flow? Done. But there is no stopping. You stop? You better have your guard up because the 4 bikes behind you aren't stopping. I'd like to see the streets from above because from ground level the city appears to be a living organism fueled by motorcycle/scooter cells that carry the human nutrients from place to place. I only took one motorcycle taxi and that was enough. The dude who was driving weaved us between cars, other bikes and straight through traffic circles. You remember that scene in National Lampoon's European Vacation where they get stuck in a traffic circle? Picture that, except much much worse...... so much worse. I could never drive in that city.

You want to cross the street? You step out deliberately and carefully. You look at the flow of traffic coming at you because while they will move around you, you still have to give them the right of way. Luckily traffic moves pretty slow and most North Americans would be the same size as the motorcycles. They're only 100cc's. I'm pretty sure the guys from my wedding party would equal 7 Vietnamese motorcycles..... maybe 8.

The red-headed stepchild of the transportation options is the cyclo. It's basically a bike with 1 wheel in the back, 2 in the front and a seat for the passenger in the very front. I took a cyclo from one of the markets back to my hotel. I took video of the whole ride. If you're ever up for a tale of thrills, triumph and heartbreak, I can show you.

Stay tuned for more from my pseudo-interesting time in Vietnam.